David felt bad that his cats had to be left alone each day that he went to work. In reality, they couldn’t have cared less if he was around or not, but David was convinced they needed some companionship, whether they asked for it or not.
David went to the pet store and immediately fell in love with a goldfish with buggy eyes and a bloated cranium. He purchased a tank, a filter, some rocks, food, and a decorative pineapple under the sea for his fish to call its new home. David wasn’t sure if it was a female or a male. He tried very hard to squint and find any signs of gender, but he just couldn’t figure it out. He decided to go for a gender neutral name: Pat.
David brought Pat home and quickly assembled the tank and its contents. “You’re probably scared out of your mind in that little plastic bag,” said David Emami as his cats watched him nervously. He poked around a bit, and at last, the home was ready. David dumped the fish into the tank and asked, “How’s that? Do you like your new home?”
The fish swam around carelessly.
“You’ll be keeping an eye on Fred and Barbra Streisand. They’re cats, but don’t worry. They’ll leave you alone.”
David turned to his cats and said, “You two, meet Pat. Pat, meet Fred and Barbra Streisand!”
The next day, David fed his cats and also Pat. He went to work as usual, happy to know that his cats finally had a friend to pass their day with. When he came home, he was horrified to see the tank turned over. Fred was soaking wet, and Barbra Streisand was nibbling on what was left of a fish tail.
“What have you done?!” David screamed and fell to his knees, causing the cats to run away and hide under David’s bed. David picked up what was left of the fish’s tail and sobbed. “I’m so sorry, Pat. May you swim in heaven unbothered!”
David didn’t talk to Fred or Barbra Streisand for the rest of the night.
David Emami is Alone in Portland is a collection of stories that peer into the life of a middle-aged curmudgeon with a fondness for cats and antiques.
Playfully illustrated with Bitmoji characters, his story comes to life as each day brings a new adventure.
He was obsessive compulsive and mad about antiques. The apartment was covered, top to bottom, in decor that would be more aligned with that of an old woman that peaked in the 1960s. david-emami-takes-on-portland.html
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