David was an avid watcher of the hit show Antiques Roadshow, and when he heard that they would be filming an episode at the Oregon Convention Center, David Emami knew just the piece to bring to have it appraised.
Back in the 1990s during the Beanie Baby craze, David hoarded them, sometimes spending his whole paycheck in an attempt to get each and every one, no matter the cost. Though they were far from the priceless antiques that adorned his home, he wanted to know how rich he would be once he sold them after keeping them in pristine condition for over twenty years.
David grabbed his most expensive Beanie Babies because he knew they would fetch the most impressive sums. He couldn’t possibly take his entire collection with him, so he grabbed as many as he could, placed them carefully in a rolling suitcase, and went out the door.
The line to get appraised was enormous, but David was willing to wait because it could potentially change his entire financial situation. David dreamed of the antiques he could buy with the money. He dreamed of having so many things that he couldn’t even move around in his apartment. He dreamed of getting matching antique beds for Fred and Barbra Streisand.
The thought alone made him giggle to himself while waiting in line, causing others to nervously distance themselves from what they were sure was a madman.
At last, it was David’s turn to be on the show.
“What have you got there?” asked the host.
David proudly pulled out his Beanie Babies, which were individually wrapped in their own plastic bags. “The most priceless, pristine, and immaculate Beanie Babies collection to ever grace the earth, of course.” He handed a few of them to the host.
“Oh, my…” the host looked at them, then back at David. “I hate to break it to you, these aren’t worth anything. You might be able to sell them for a buck a piece at a garage sale.” The host patted David on the back. “Thanks for stopping by.” They ushered David away, but David wasn’t done yet.
David Emami is Alone in Portland is a collection of stories that peer into the life of a middle-aged curmudgeon with a fondness for cats and antiques.
Playfully illustrated with Bitmoji characters, his story comes to life as each day brings a new adventure.
He was obsessive compulsive and mad about antiques. The apartment was covered, top to bottom, in decor that would be more aligned with that of an old woman that peaked in the 1960s. david-emami-takes-on-portland.html
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