David Emami nearly jumped out of his skin when he found out that the Broadway musical Cats was coming to Portland on their tour. He was, however, disappointed when he inquired at the box office about the show and was told that they had been sold out for months. David had dreamed of seeing the show and was certain he could just walk up to the box office hours before the show and get in without any effort. Apparently, buying theater tickets in 2017 was different than buying tickets in 1967.
“You can always wait in front of the theater and buy a ticket from a scalper. They usually lower their prices considerably before the show starts. Good luck,” said the employee at the theater.
David had no choice but to wait for the people to show up and for the scalpers to set up shop. After walking around the block bored out of his mind and eager with anticipation, a scalper showed up.
“How much are they going for?”
“How many tickets you want?” asked the scalper.
“Just 1,” replied David.
“I only sell in multiples of 2.”
“That’s odd. How much are you asking?”
“$500 per ticket.”
“That’s plain old robbery! Good day to you, sir!”
David leaned up against the theater as he watched the theater goers enter. They all seemed so happy and excited, which made David sick to his stomach.
“I still got those tickets,” said the scalper, just 10 minutes before the show.
“I’ll just die if I can’t see this show, but I can’t justify that price. Can you please sell them for less?”
“I tell you what,” he said, “I won’t charge you $500 per ticket.”
“Oh, you’re a saint.”
“I’ll charge you $499 per ticket.”
“You bully! You terrible human!” David grabbed a thousand dollars out of his wallet, fresh from his last paycheck and said, “I believe you owe me $2.”
The man gladly gave him the change and said, “Enjoy the show!” and quickly left the scene.
David couldn’t let the price get him down. He had tickets now. He went up to the window, they scanned the tickets and proclaimed, “These are counterfeit tickets. I’m sorry.”
David’s heart sank. “But I just paid $998 for them!”
“Well, they’re not real, so I’m afraid I can’t let you in.”
David threw the tickets onto the ground and let out a scream. He made his way home defeated and angry.
David Emami is Alone in Portland is a collection of stories that peer into the life of a middle-aged curmudgeon with a fondness for cats and antiques.
Playfully illustrated with Bitmoji characters, his story comes to life as each day brings a new adventure.
He was obsessive compulsive and mad about antiques. The apartment was covered, top to bottom, in decor that would be more aligned with that of an old woman that peaked in the 1960s. david-emami-takes-on-portland.html
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