When David found out that there was going to be a cat fashion show at the Convention Center in Portland, Oregon, he knew that he just had to participate. His cats, Fred and Barbra Streisand, were like his children, and as such, they were treated royally. David loved dressing them up almost as much as they loved it (which they actually didn’t, but David pretended not to notice how much they hated it).
The day of the event arrived, and David Emami knew exactly what he would dress them in. He laid out 2 evening gowns, both frilly and full of lace. Fred’s was golden yellow and Barbra Streisand’s was crimson red. He topped off their outfits with cat slippers and bows on their heads. David took several Polaroid pictures of his cats and promptly put them up on his fridge. He was ready to compete.
When he arrived, cat owners were everywhere with their cats in their kennels. David placed both of his cats in a kennel that they shared and placed it on a wheeled cart so they could enjoy the action of the day (but they actually just screamed and hissed all day because they hated it so much).
“Oh, would you look at that!” exclaimed David as he looked at a white long-haired cat with blue eyes that was dressed in a Queen Elsa gown from Frozen. “Aren’t you the prettiest thing?” He looked up at the owner, a large bald man with a mustache and said, “You must be so proud.”
The man replied, “Very proud. She’s my little princess.”
“Maybe we can exchange numbers and let our cats have a play date?” asked David.
The man shook his head. “No. My Patricia does not mingle with lesser cats,” he said as he grimaced at Barbra Streisand’s single oozing eye and walked away.
“Well, your cat is too ugly for my daughters anyway!” yelled David.
The show began, and David placed leashes on his cats to walk them down the runway when it was his turn. They hissed and growled in anger as David dragged them down the runway, but David was too proud and in the moment to notice.
In the end, David didn’t win a single prize. Instead, Patricia won nearly every prize they had. David hated that cat and knew that his cats deserved it more than any others.
David Emami is Alone in Portland is a collection of stories that peer into the life of a middle-aged curmudgeon with a fondness for cats and antiques.
Playfully illustrated with Bitmoji characters, his story comes to life as each day brings a new adventure.
He was obsessive compulsive and mad about antiques. The apartment was covered, top to bottom, in decor that would be more aligned with that of an old woman that peaked in the 1960s. david-emami-takes-on-portland.html
© 2017 DavidEmami.com