The sun was warm and summer was just around the corner. David Emami loved parades, and it was almost time for Portland, Oregon’s Starlight Parade during the annual Rose Festival. He had attended each and every year and wouldn’t dare miss it for the world. As usual, David arrived early in the day with a lunch pail and water and set up his camp chair so he could have a prime seat for the event.
As the day went on, people starting following suit and began setting up chairs around David. The families were friendly and everyone was in a good mood. David, however, wasn’t there to socialize; he was there to see a parade.
A little 8 year old boy ran up to David and said, “I like your Care Bears shirt!”
David knew that the boy must have impeccable taste, so he responded, “Why, thank you.” He then turned his head, hoping the pest would go away.
“I like Transformers,” said the boy.
“That’s a terrible show made for children with no imaginations,” David replied.
“But I like it,” said the boy meekly.
“Then you’re clearly not going very far in life.” David glared at him, and the boy ran off to chase a balloon.
The crowds got thicker, and soon, David was surrounded. Suddenly, David felt a harsh grip on his shoulder, then a man tumbled over his lap, leaving his prosthetic leg behind in the process. The man was very drunk and had attempted to stable himself on the back of David’s chair, but in doing so, he fell, and his fake leg was now sitting on David’s lap while the man fumbled around on the ground.
“Good heavens!” David threw the leg at him. “I don’t want that thing on my lap! I just ironed these jeans!”
The man slurred his words and tried to get his leg back on. With the help of a wall, he steadied himself, stood up, then fell again, and the leg popped off once more and was soon in David’s lap again.
David stood up. “You must do your falling somewhere else! This is ruining my mood!”
A stranger came up and said, “Dude, take a chill pill! The guy needs help!” The stranger helped the man put his leg back on, then helped him walk across the street.
At last, the parade started, and David watched with wonder in his eyes as he popped fried chicken livers into his mouth that he had purchased earlier in the day. Life was good.
David Emami is Alone in Portland is a collection of stories that peer into the life of a middle-aged curmudgeon with a fondness for cats and antiques.
Playfully illustrated with Bitmoji characters, his story comes to life as each day brings a new adventure.
He was obsessive compulsive and mad about antiques. The apartment was covered, top to bottom, in decor that would be more aligned with that of an old woman that peaked in the 1960s. david-emami-takes-on-portland.html
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