David Emami smelled something terrible in his apartment and couldn’t figure out what it was. Even though his home was full of antiques and oddities, it was at least clean and free from smells. However, something was indeed creating a foul odor, and David was determined to find the source of it.
David got on all fours and began looking around the apartment from top to bottom. He took out his trash, cleaned out his fridge, and still couldn’t figure out where the smell was coming from. He picked up Fred and Barbra Streisand, much to their displeasure, and gave them a good sniff and determined that it wasn’t them either. The mystery was driving David mad, and yet he still was no closer to a solution than when he had started hours ago.
David sat on his couch, completely defeated. He decided that he would probably just have to deal with the smell for the rest of his life and die in his filth. But then it struck him: the smell was coming from the couch. He pulled the cushions off and found a massive, dried up fur ball that one of his cats had coughed up and it had somehow slipped into the couch. Repulsed, David grabbed it with his rubber gloves on and quickly tossed it out the window. It landed near Lonnie, the homeless man that lived in the empty lot near the apartment. He looked up and asked, “What the heck was that?”
“Something disgusting,” said David as he quickly closed his window without further discussion.
David sprayed the couch, but the smell still lingered. He decided it was a perfect opportunity to get the 1950s loveseat he had seen in the antique store just days before. With the help of Lonnie, who he had bribed with a turkey sandwich, he took his old couch to the curb, and had the new couch delivered. Lonnie asked if he could come in to try the new couch, but David told him he wasn’t feeling well and slammed the door in his face. David loved his new couch.
David Emami is Alone in Portland is a collection of stories that peer into the life of a middle-aged curmudgeon with a fondness for cats and antiques.
Playfully illustrated with Bitmoji characters, his story comes to life as each day brings a new adventure.
He was obsessive compulsive and mad about antiques. The apartment was covered, top to bottom, in decor that would be more aligned with that of an old woman that peaked in the 1960s. david-emami-takes-on-portland.html
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