David Emami had been looking forward to participating in the May Day Parade for quite some time. He loved flowers and was thrilled when someone noticed his flowered sweater while taking a walk around town. David was invited to participate in the parade and to toss flowers at the spectators. David had never been in a parade before, but he was sure it would be the highlight of his entire life.
When David arrived in Portland for the parade, he proudly wore the same flowered sweater that had originally been worn by his ex wife 30 years ago. He didn’t wear it because it reminded him of her; he wore it because it was beautiful. David was given a basket of flowers, much like a flower girl walking down the aisle of a wedding, and was instructed to toss them about casually as he walked with the massive floral float.
The parade began, and David smiled brightly and waved at the spectators. He tossed flowers here and there and was having the time of his life. As he threw them, he was delighted when people grabbed them and thanked him. He was certain he had found a new calling in life until he accidentally tossed a flower that landed like a missile directly in a large man’s eye. He was a beast with a crew cut and didn’t seem much too pleased.
“You hit me in the eye!” he screamed over the festive music and cheers.
David jumped out of his skin as he looked over and saw the enormous man walking toward him while rubbing his eye.
“I’m gonna break yer neck!” screamed the man.
“I didn’t mean to!” whimpered David, still walking in time with the parade.
“I don’t care if you meant to or not, I’m still gonna kill ya!” The man grabbed David’s basket and tossed it sky high. It dropped on the roof of the second story shop nearby. David looked around and noticed that no one else was even paying attention to the situation, so David did what he had to do: he ran.
“Get back here, you flower throwin’ sissy man!” screamed the angry brute.
David cried and screamed for help, but no one seemed to notice. He jumped into the crowd and slipped into a bakery shop, then hid in the back.
“Can I help you?” asked the baker.
“There’s a man that’s trying to kill me!” screamed David.
David’s pursuer ran past the shop, unaware that he had just passed him.
David stood up and straightened his shirt. “I suppose I outsmarted the beast.”
“What are you talking about?” asked the baker.
“Nevermind. Get me a bagel so I can forget this day ever happened.”
David Emami is Alone in Portland is a collection of stories that peer into the life of a middle-aged curmudgeon with a fondness for cats and antiques.
Playfully illustrated with Bitmoji characters, his story comes to life as each day brings a new adventure.
He was obsessive compulsive and mad about antiques. The apartment was covered, top to bottom, in decor that would be more aligned with that of an old woman that peaked in the 1960s. david-emami-takes-on-portland.html
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