David Emami’s cats, Fred and Barbra Streisand, were both very moody and were getting on David’s nerves. “I guess I’ll just have to leave then. Is that what you want?” he screamed as Barbra Streisand looked at him through her single, gooey, oozing eye. “Fine then. Consider it done.” He got on his boots and headed out, slamming the door behind him. David needed some fun, and he knew just the spot.
David walked down the street several blocks to the local roller skating rink, and to his surprise, there was a large birthday group there consisting mostly of 11 and 12 year old boys and girls. David was easily the only person on the rink that was over the age of 13, and he was okay with that. David loved to roller skate as long as no one got in his way or threw off his groove. To his dismay, the DJ seemed set on playing nothing but modern trashy music that David despised. In order to truly enjoy his time skating, he had to have music he enjoyed.
“I’m sorry, sir, we don’t play The Carpenters.”
“Well, why not? They’re phenomenal!”
“Yeah, um, there’s a bunch of like 12 year olds out there that have no idea who they are and they’d flip out if I played them.”
“That’s just unacceptable. How about Barry Manilow?”
“Not gonna happen.”
“No, but I could do Justin Bieber.”
David made a disgusted face. “Please kill me instead! How about Cyndi Lauper?”
“Dude, for the last time, I’m not playing that old stuff. Come around on Tuesdays at 10 am. We have a senior skate and play that crap for 2 hours.”
“Crap?! How dare you insult those legends!” screamed David as he roller skated away. “I’ll have you know that I won’t support this establishment anymore! Good riddance!” David yanked his skates off though he had only been there for 5 minutes, marched them to the return desk, and without even asking for a refund, he tossed them across the counter, got his shoes back on, and walked out. His skating days were over.
David Emami is Alone in Portland is a collection of stories that peer into the life of a middle-aged curmudgeon with a fondness for cats and antiques.
Playfully illustrated with Bitmoji characters, his story comes to life as each day brings a new adventure.
He was obsessive compulsive and mad about antiques. The apartment was covered, top to bottom, in decor that would be more aligned with that of an old woman that peaked in the 1960s. david-emami-takes-on-portland.html
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