David Emami considered himself to be a connoisseur of fine art. His apartment was decorated from top to bottom with priceless antiques and memorabilia and he figured that he knew more than most people about good taste. When he heard that his childhood friend, Benny Lelong, had recently opened his own art gallery, David was eager to drop by and see what wonders his friend had created.
David drove to West Linn, a city close to Portland, Oregon, and arrived on opening day. The gallery was well-attended and David had to park across the street in an Olive Garden parking lot. He had expected to see beautiful paintings of roses, bouquets, fields of tulips, and landscapes, but what he saw instead was something he wasn’t quite prepared for.
The walls were lined with crudely drawn nude bodies of all shapes and sizes in all sorts of contorted poses. David nearly left, but suddenly, a hand slapped him on the shoulder. “David Emami? Is that you?”
David turned around and saw Benny Lelong standing behind him. “Yes, yes it is. Nice to see you, Benny. I heard you opened a gallery and wanted to check it out.”
“It’s great isn’t it? I did all of them myself. Let me show you around!” Benny ushered David around the gallery as he explained the details behind his paintings. David felt as if he was listening to explicit R-rated movie and felt very uncomfortable at the casual mentions of private parts as Benny pointed out the features on each painting. “And the best part is, I painted all of them with my feet.”
David looked down at Benny’s crippled, twisted hands. “What happened to your hands?”
“Severe arthritis. I wanted to keep painting, so I started using my feet.”
David didn’t know what to say. “Wow, well, they’re lovely.”
Benny smiled and announced, “You know what? You came out to support me, so I’m going to send you home with one for free.”
“Oh, you don’t have to,” said David.
“I insist.” Benny grabbed a painting of a male and female prancing naked through a valley of wildflowers. “This one is for you.”
David turned red. “Oh, thanks.”
“I have to get going. I’m doing a presentation for a group in 5 minutes. Thanks for coming by. Display that piece with pride. It’s very special to me.”
David thanked Benny and ran to his car, trying his best to cover his obscene painting. When David arrived at his apartment complex, he threw the painting in the dumpster to save himself and others from having to see such atrocities.
David Emami is Alone in Portland is a collection of stories that peer into the life of a middle-aged curmudgeon with a fondness for cats and antiques.
Playfully illustrated with Bitmoji characters, his story comes to life as each day brings a new adventure.
He was obsessive compulsive and mad about antiques. The apartment was covered, top to bottom, in decor that would be more aligned with that of an old woman that peaked in the 1960s. david-emami-takes-on-portland.html
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