After a long day at work, David Emami was driving home in his Toyota Previa minivan. As usual, he was stuck in traffic, but up ahead, he noticed a limo that was stuck on the side of the road with its flashers on. David didn’t usually stop to help anyone in Portland, Oregon, due to stories he had heard of people getting mugged or killed, but something caught his eye: the lady standing outside of the limo was none other than Liza Minnelli, David’s favorite actress of all time.
David felt weak and flushed. He pulled over, knowing he had to help. Not only was it the right thing to do, but it was Liza Minnelli, so he truly had no other options. He got in the right lane and pulled to the side, then got out and approached Liza and her driver.
“Need some help?” asked David bashfully. He wanted to jump on her and give her hugs and kisses, but also didn’t want to spend the night in jail. He had a million questions for her, but he didn’t want to alarm her. He wanted to keep his cool.
“Oh, thank goodness. Yes,” she replied, “my incompetent limo driver can’t seem to get the damn thing going and I’m freezing out here.”
“I’d be happy to give you both a ride,” replied David.
“Just me,” she said, “he’s going to stay with the limo. Besides, I’ve spent enough time with him. I need a break.” She looked at the driver. “Stay here and wait for a tow truck. Make sure my bags are at the hotel when I arrive later tonight.”
They got into David’s minivan and were off. “Where are you headed, Ms. Minnelli?”
“Downtown. The Imperial Restaurant. I’m meeting an old friend there for dinner.”
“You got it!” David couldn’t believe his luck. “It’s an honor to meet you, ma’am. I’m David.”
“Lovely to meet you. Thank you for saving me back there.”
“I’d take a bullet for you,” he admitted.
She laughed. “I hope that won’t be necessary.”
They talked and giggled all the way to the restaurant. David pinched himself a few times to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. Finally, they arrived and David jumped out to open her door.
“I hope you have a lovely day,” said David.
“And you as well,” she replied.
“You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met,” said David.
“You’re too kind,” she said as she leaned in and kissed David on the cheek, leaving a big lipstick mark on his face.
She went inside and David promised to never wash his face again. He had just been kissed by an angel.
David Emami is Alone in Portland is a collection of stories that peer into the life of a middle-aged curmudgeon with a fondness for cats and antiques.
Playfully illustrated with Bitmoji characters, his story comes to life as each day brings a new adventure.
He was obsessive compulsive and mad about antiques. The apartment was covered, top to bottom, in decor that would be more aligned with that of an old woman that peaked in the 1960s. david-emami-takes-on-portland.html
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