When Christmas season comes along, David Emami is ready for it. He waits for it every single year and can’t stop talking about it. When he found out that Santa Claus would be coming to the Clackamas Town Center, a mall outside of Portland, Oregon, David knew he had to pay Jolly Old Saint Nick a visit. It was a tradition of his, and regardless of his age, he made the pilgrimage every year to sit on his lap and tell Santa what he wanted for Christmas.
David put on his red corduroy pants and a large sweater with The Grinch on it. He put on a Santa hat and got in line. He always bought the picture and proudly displayed it for him and his cats to enjoy.
The line was long, but David was fine waiting. He was the only adult that was dressed up to see Santa.
“My, you’re looking festive,” remarked a mother of 4 children.
“Why, thank you. I wouldn’t ever want to be underdressed to see Santa Claus!”
“So, are you seeing him alone? Or do you have kids here?”
“Alone. I would’ve brought Fred and Barbra Streisand, but Barbra Streisand is in heat and is making Fred very anxious at the moment.”
The woman looked confused, then to end the conversation, she said, “Oh, um, well, good luck with that.”
At last, it was David’s turn to sit on Santa’s lap. He did so unapologetically, and Santa played right along.
“Well, you’re getting to be a very big boy! What would you like for Christmas?”
David hugged Santa tightly. “Well, I have several things on my list this year. First of all, I would like a French lamp from the 1930s. Something with a splash of yellow. I’d also like a big pink piggy bank that I can put my coins in so I can save up for candy and vacations. And finally, I’d like a shirt with Bea Arthur on it from The Golden Girls. She’s so sassy, just like me!”
“Well, those sound like wonderful ideas! If you keep being a good boy, I’ll make sure to bring them!”
David got his picture taken and said his goodbyes. He walked away feeling as if he had just conversed with God. David couldn’t have been happier.
David Emami is Alone in Portland is a collection of stories that peer into the life of a middle-aged curmudgeon with a fondness for cats and antiques.
Playfully illustrated with Bitmoji characters, his story comes to life as each day brings a new adventure.
He was obsessive compulsive and mad about antiques. The apartment was covered, top to bottom, in decor that would be more aligned with that of an old woman that peaked in the 1960s. david-emami-takes-on-portland.html
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