David Emami always enjoyed a lazy Sunday. Though David wasn’t a religious man, he considered it his Sabbath, and as such, rarely strayed from his apartment on a Sunday. Instead, he spent his time reading antique blogs on the internet, watching The Lawrence Welk Show and other favorites such as I Love Lucy, The Carol Burnett Show, and The Dick Van Dyke Show. One day, while reheating a turkey Hungry Man meal, he heard a knock at the door.
“Fred, Barbra Streisand, you’ll have to tell me what I missed on the show.” David opened the door and grimaced as he realized he was now standing in front of a salesman of some sort.
“Happy Sunday! Sorry to bother you, but I was in the neighborhood and wanted to tell you about a sweet deal we’ve got going for satellite television…”
“Satellite? I have cable and am perfectly happy with my service, thank you very much.” Barbra Streisand began walking toward the open door, and David shouted, “Barbra Streisand! Stay inside! It’s dangerous out there!” The cat looked up at David with its single oozing eye.
The salesman, a tall, hefty man in his 20s, said, “Barbra Streisand? Is that really your cat’s name?”
“Yes it is. She’s a spitting image. Why do you care?”
“Well, Barbra Streisand is my great aunt! What a small world!”
David’s jaw dropped. “Please, come inside and tell me more about this satellite television you speak of!”
The salesman entered the room and the cats ran into the back room. They weren’t very social. He pulled out his phone and began scrolling through pictures of himself and Barbra Streisand while David looked at them in awe.
“She’s a great lady. One time, when I was younger, she came by unexpectedly and handed me a signed script of A Star is Born for my birthday. I still have it. Here’s a picture of me holding it!”
David had so many questions and almost felt as if he had royalty sitting in his living room. He ended up selecting the most expensive package at the advice of the salesman, which he claimed to be the best deal. When all was said and done, David now had access to almost 4000 channels.
David Emami is Alone in Portland is a collection of stories that peer into the life of a middle-aged curmudgeon with a fondness for cats and antiques.
Playfully illustrated with Bitmoji characters, his story comes to life as each day brings a new adventure.
He was obsessive compulsive and mad about antiques. The apartment was covered, top to bottom, in decor that would be more aligned with that of an old woman that peaked in the 1960s. david-emami-takes-on-portland.html
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