David’s cats were like his children. One morning, David Emami found his cat, Fred, lying on the carpet, completely unresponsive. David jumped to the cat and yelled, “Fred! Fred! Hang in there, girl! What’s wrong?” He looked over at Barbra Streisand and yelled, “How long has she been like this? What happened to her?” Barbra Streisand looked back at David with her single oozing eye and began licking herself. “Oh, you’re no help!” David picked Fred up carefully, then headed out to his car. He wasn’t going to lose his child.
Fred sat in the back seat with his eyes glazed over, but was still breathing. “Don’t you die on me, old girl! I need you!” David cried as he drove frantically toward the pet hospital which was located across town in Lake Oswego.
When David arrived, he lovingly grabbed Fred, then ran inside. “Someone help my cat! She just can’t die!” He screamed and a worker ran over to see what was wrong.
“What’s going on?” she asked.
“She’s not moving or responding. Please save her!”
“Okay, sir, calm down down. Please sit down. We have some paperwork for you to fill out and then we’ll see the cat.”
“The cat? Her name is Fred!” screamed David. “And to hell with your paperwork!”
“We cannot see Fred without the paperwork. I’m sorry. You can place Fred on our back table over there.” She pointed to a dark corner of the room.
David did as he was told, then filled out the seemingly endless paperwork. “Good heavens! Why do you need to know all of this?” he yelled as he scribbled. When he finished, he brought it to the desk and at last his cat was taken in the back. “You take care of my cat,” he yelled as they took Fred away.
David waited nervously, always asking every 5 minutes what the status was. After waiting over an hour, a doctor came out and smiled as he said, “Fred is going to be okay. He got into some chocolate.”
“It’s a she, actually.”
“Oh, okay. But yeah, just ate some chocolate and is looking much better now.”
David remembered leaving a mess on the couch the night before and felt awful. He went back to retrieve his cat who was lying down and lethargic. “No more sweets for you, Fred,” he said as he pet his cat with tears in his eyes.
David Emami is Alone in Portland is a collection of stories that peer into the life of a middle-aged curmudgeon with a fondness for cats and antiques.
Playfully illustrated with Bitmoji characters, his story comes to life as each day brings a new adventure.
He was obsessive compulsive and mad about antiques. The apartment was covered, top to bottom, in decor that would be more aligned with that of an old woman that peaked in the 1960s. david-emami-takes-on-portland.html
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