David Emami had heard of wine and painting classes in Portland, Oregon, and he was curious about trying it out. He wasn’t terribly fond of wine (he preferred diet orange soda), but figured his tiny, yet crowded, apartment could use some beautiful artwork. He hadn’t painted since he was in elementary school, but he had seen the successes of others and figured he could easily do the same.
When he arrived at the class, he was the only male in attendance. That didn’t bother him; he preferred being around women because they usually were nicer to him. He paid his entrance fee, and they handed him a glass. “Do you have diet orange soda?” he asked.
“Um, no… just wine,” replied the robust lady in charge of the event.
“Fine, I suppose that will do.” He sat down in the front row next to an old Indian lady. He looked at her and smiled. “You have a lovely dot on your forehead.”
She shook her head and said, “Thank you” quietly. David wasn’t sure why she was so short with him. Maybe, he thought, it was the garlic he had eaten earlier.
The class began and soon his canvas began taking shape. Unfortunately, despite trying his best to follow each step from the instructor, his painting looked nothing like the others in the class.
“You use too much paint,” said the Indian woman. “And you not listen to teacher. You are bad painter.” Talk about blunt.
“Well, that’s not very kind.”
“Sir, can you please keep your voice down?” asked the instructor.
“The Indian lady was talking to me first,” said David childishly.
The class continued and David was not having fun. He picked up his canvas in the middle of the class and the instructor asked, “Sir, what are you doing?” David put the entire canvas in the trash can and walked to the door.
“I’m leaving this intolerant, inhospitable environment. Good evening to you!” David left the room feeling angry and a little upset that nothing had turned out how he had expected. He went home empty handed and figured he would just have to find art at an antique store to replace what he had just thrown away.
David Emami is Alone in Portland is a collection of stories that peer into the life of a middle-aged curmudgeon with a fondness for cats and antiques.
Playfully illustrated with Bitmoji characters, his story comes to life as each day brings a new adventure.
He was obsessive compulsive and mad about antiques. The apartment was covered, top to bottom, in decor that would be more aligned with that of an old woman that peaked in the 1960s. david-emami-takes-on-portland.html
© 2017 DavidEmami.com