David Emami hated using technology, but after his flip phone broke, he decided it was time to finally get a smart phone. While at the Sprint store in Portland, Oregon, he browsed around, pretending to blend in, but looking obviously lost. He had no idea what kind of phone he needed.
“What kinda phone you want?” asked the perky, energetic millennial man.
“The kind that makes phone calls,” said David bluntly.
He laughed. “These can all do that! And this one,” he pulled one off the shelf, “this one actually has a 3D mode that you can toggle on the side. When you look at it straight on, it turns everything into 3D! Pretty cool, huh?”
“Not at all. I just want something simple.”
“Oh.” He put the phone down. “Well, here’s this guy.” He pulled out a sleek black phone. “This is about as simple as it gets.”
“Where are your flip phones?!”
“We actually don’t carry those anymore. No one really uses them anymore.”
“Well, I do!”
“Well, you might want to try a company called Phones for Seniors. They still offer them. My grandma used them and seems to like it.”
David turned bright red and screamed, “Do I look like a senior to you? I’ll have you know you’re speaking to a very capable, intelligent person! Don’t you dare talk down to me like that!”
The man stepped back. “Sir, I apologize. I was just trying to help.”
“Well, then help me set this stupid phone up. If that’s all you have, then that’s the one I’ll get.”
The employee helped David get the phone set up for him, then tried to show him how to use it.
“Nevermind that. I’ll figure it out, I’m sure,” said David rather annoyed.
David left the store with a frown on his face. To be honest, he had no idea how to use the device in his pocket. Suddenly, a phone call came through, and David frantically tapped and clicked to get the phone to accept the call. Nothing seemed to work.
David Emami is Alone in Portland is a collection of stories that peer into the life of a middle-aged curmudgeon with a fondness for cats and antiques.
Playfully illustrated with Bitmoji characters, his story comes to life as each day brings a new adventure.
He was obsessive compulsive and mad about antiques. The apartment was covered, top to bottom, in decor that would be more aligned with that of an old woman that peaked in the 1960s. david-emami-takes-on-portland.html
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