However, there was an antique fair in town, and David was not going to miss it for the world. He gave Fred and Barbra Streisand a big hug and walked down the street several blocks to the nearest MAX station. After waiting for only a minute, the next train arrived, and David found his seat near the door.
It was a quiet ride at first, but then a large woman with ratted, grey hair moved her way down the train and sat next to David.
“You hear ‘bout the attack?” she asked.
Annoyed, David responded, “What attack?”
“The alien attack! Last night! Thousands were killed!”
“You’re crazy, lady!” replied David.
“Just look at my leg!” she pulled up her dirty skirt and revealed an oozing wound dripping down her leg. “They almost killed me too!” She then began rocking back and forth while singing, “We Will Rock You” in the loudest voice possible while punching invisible enemies in front of her. David stood up and tried to move away from her, but she just moved down with him.
“Will you please leave me alone?!” he demanded.
“I once saw Marilyn Monroe live at the Moda Center!” She squealed with delight. “She and Elvis would’ve made beautiful children!”
She went on like that for the next 10 minutes until David at last arrived at his destination.
“Beware of the scorpions!” she warned.
David pretended to not hear her and got off as quickly as he could.
Upon exiting, David realized that the antique fair had ended the day before. He was saddened as he saw countless people pulling things from the building and placing them in trucks to be shipped off elsewhere. He threw his hands up in defeat. At least his day was made interesting by the crazy lady.
David Emami is Alone in Portland is a collection of stories that peer into the life of a middle-aged curmudgeon with a fondness for cats and antiques.
Playfully illustrated with Bitmoji characters, his story comes to life as each day brings a new adventure.
He was obsessive compulsive and mad about antiques. The apartment was covered, top to bottom, in decor that would be more aligned with that of an old woman that peaked in the 1960s. david-emami-takes-on-portland.html
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