David Emami had never been to a spa. He had often been curious about getting a massage, but he had always decided against someone touching him so intimately. David liked his privacy and felt that such an invasion would be detrimental to his well being. However, after seeing a commercial for a local spa, David decided to splurge and try it out.
He arrived at the spa early in the morning, long before the crowds of the day would arrive. He was nervous and skeptical, but also excited. His 59 year old body needed some attention because it hadn’t been touched by someone other than himself in over 30 years.
David was escorted to a room in the back and was instructed to take off his clothes and lay a towel over his manhood.
“Take off my clothes? I’ve never heard of such a thing. What kind of establishment is this?!”
“Well, we use essential oils and that would be impossible with your clothes on.”
David was intrigued. “Are they expensive?”
“Very,” replied the young masseuse.
“Fine then. Leave the room so I may disrobe without being watched.”
The woman left the room and David removed his clothes. He positioned himself on the massage table and awaited for the massage to start.
The masseuse entered the room and said, “Comfortable?”
“Absolutely,” said David.
“Then let’s begin.” She started rubbing his shoulders, which David enjoyed greatly. After some upper body work, she began massaging his lower back, dangerously close to his butt. When her reach became uncomfortable, David’s head darted back.
“What are you doing back there? I’m not that kind of man!”
“I’m massaging your lower back. Nothing to worry about,” she assured him.
“Bologna!” David stood up, attempting to hide his nudity with the tiny towel given to him, but doing a poor job to say the least. “I will not be violated in such an obscene manner!”
“Leave the room so I may put my clothes on and leave this den of harlots!”
She threw her hands up in the air. “Whatever, dude.”
David quickly put his clothes back on, embarrassed and ashamed. He darted down the hall without saying another word and ran outside to his car. He would never receive another massage in his entire life.
David Emami is Alone in Portland is a collection of stories that peer into the life of a middle-aged curmudgeon with a fondness for cats and antiques.
Playfully illustrated with Bitmoji characters, his story comes to life as each day brings a new adventure.
He was obsessive compulsive and mad about antiques. The apartment was covered, top to bottom, in decor that would be more aligned with that of an old woman that peaked in the 1960s. david-emami-takes-on-portland.html
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