When David Emami received a coupon for a free game of bowling at his nearby bowling alley in Portland, Oregon, he decided it was time to dust off his old shoes and hit the lanes. He hadn’t gone bowling in years, and he was excited to try it out once more. He said goodbye to his cats and headed to alley.
When he arrived, there wasn’t a single lane open. Apparently, he wasn’t the only one that liked bowling for free. Dismayed, he waited near the shoe rental area for a lane to open up. Then, a massive hand grabbed David’s shoulder and said, “You don’t have to wait.” David turned around. “You can bowl at my lane if you want.”
It was Shaquille O’Neal. David’s eyes widened as he looked at the massive man standing behind him. David shot to his feet and exclaimed, “You’re even bigger in person!”
“I get that a lot.”
“I loved you in Space Jam. You truly shined in that role.”
He laughed. “That was Michael Jordan, not me.”
David turned bright red when he realized his mistake. “Oh, heavens, you’ll have to forgive me. I feel terrible!”
“Don’t worry, dude. So, you in or not?”
“Count me in.”
David put his shoes on and found a bowling ball that matched his dainty, thin fingers. He trembled as he approached the lane. He was going to bowl with the man that had starred in the genie classic Kazaam, which just happened to be one of David’s favorite films.
The game started with David’s gutter ball. “Don’t worry, you’ll get there,” said Shaq.
Shaq scored strike after strike. He gave David a hearty high five after each round, nearly breaking David’s hand off at the wrist each time.
“You should’ve pursued a career in bowling!” said David.
“I considered it, but basketball paid more,” replied Shaq.
By the end of the night, Shaq had scored 245 points, while David had 32. They had finished off a pitcher of beer and a mountain of chicken wings and tater tots. Shaq patted David on the back and exclaimed, “Maybe we can hang out next time I’m in town. You’re a pretty cool dude, David.”
They exchanged numbers, and he was on his way. David didn’t sleep that night. It’s hard to sleep when you’ve met a god.
David Emami is Alone in Portland is a collection of stories that peer into the life of a middle-aged curmudgeon with a fondness for cats and antiques.
Playfully illustrated with Bitmoji characters, his story comes to life as each day brings a new adventure.
He was obsessive compulsive and mad about antiques. The apartment was covered, top to bottom, in decor that would be more aligned with that of an old woman that peaked in the 1960s. david-emami-takes-on-portland.html
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