David Emami was delighted when his new neon pink shoelaces arrived in the mail. He had seen a flashy pair of green Converse shoes on television, and after picking up a pair of his own, knew that the laces would make his already beautiful shoes even better. He pulled off his typical black rain boots and slipped on his new shoes and laced on his new laces. For the first time in nearly 40 years, he went out wearing something other than his signature boots.
David was feeling rather showy, and decided that the best place to show off his new kicks and laces was probably the Lloyd Center Mall in Portland, OR. David took the MAX train, which stops just outside the mall, and was a little annoyed when a drunk man wearing nothing but his underwear took all the attention during the trip. Still undaunted, David entered the mall and hoped someone would take a gander at his new shoes because he was dying for validation over his new purchase.
While going up a rather long escalator, David smiled proudly and prominently displayed his shoes for all to see (though most people just looked at him like he was a total freak). As the escalator topped off, David started walking forward toward the food court, when suddenly he felt a tug at his shoes. To his dismay, the shoelace was caught in the escalator and was pulling tightly against his shoe. Several people bumped into David as he frantically yanked at his shoe, but it only made the problem worse.
“Help me!” he screamed. “I’m at the brink of death!” People looked at him with grins of their faces, which greatly irritated him. “Oh, you calloused fools! Can’t you see I’m in need of assistance?!”
Finally, a large man with a full beard said, “Here, let me help you with that,” and with a tug of his shoe, the pink lace broke off and David was free.
“Look what you’ve done to my beautiful laces, you big oaf!” screamed David as he knelt down and assessed the damage.
“You’re welcome, jerk,” said the man in an annoyed tone.
When David came home that evening, he put his foot up and iced it. He decided that tomorrow would be a perfect day to call in sick, and he vowed to only wear his trusty black rain boots until the day he died.
David Emami is Alone in Portland is a collection of stories that peer into the life of a middle-aged curmudgeon with a fondness for cats and antiques.
Playfully illustrated with Bitmoji characters, his story comes to life as each day brings a new adventure.
He was obsessive compulsive and mad about antiques. The apartment was covered, top to bottom, in decor that would be more aligned with that of an old woman that peaked in the 1960s. david-emami-takes-on-portland.html
© 2017 DavidEmami.com