David Emami waited eagerly for the return of the fabled McRib from McDonald’s. The rib shaped patty drenched in barbecue sauce on a bun was something that only came out of hiding every few years and only stayed around for a few weeks at a time. When he heard that they were coming to a location in West Linn, Oregon, which is just a few miles from Portland, he knew he had to jump at the opportunity or miss out for another several years.
The thought of missing the McRib troubled him greatly, and he knew he would have to call in sick for work if he was going to be one of the first to experience its processed deliciousness.
David put on his McRib McManiac shirt that he had purchased online and, at 3 am, drove to West Linn for the official unveiling which was to take place at 11 am. When David arrived, he was the only one there.
“Strange, I thought there would be more people for such a historic event,” said David while standing outside. He looked at the hours and determined that they were open 24 hours a day, so he went inside and sat down. The woman standing at the counter looked at him strangely.
“You gonna order something? You can’t just sit in here.”
David was offended by her tone. He stood up to show his shirt. “How dare you suggest that I’m a vagrant! I’m here for the McRib party at 11 am.”
“The McRib party is today at 11 am.”
“It ain’t no party,” she said, “we just start servin’ ‘em up at 11. It’s no big deal or nothin’.”
“Well, I’m sure you’ve just been misinformed. I’ll be waiting until the event begins.”
David sat back down, folded his arms, and aimed his back to her in an attempt to show his determination to end the conversation.
“Whateva,” she said under her breath.
The sun rose and the crowds began to come in. First the breakfast crowds, then at last, the lunch crowds. It was finally 11 am. David darted to the register.
“I’d like a McRib, please. Oh heck, make it 3. I’ll take 2 home for Fred and Barbra Streisand.”
“Huh?” asked the new employee, as the night shift had long since gone home.
David Emami is Alone in Portland is a collection of stories that peer into the life of a middle-aged curmudgeon with a fondness for cats and antiques.
Playfully illustrated with Bitmoji characters, his story comes to life as each day brings a new adventure.
He was obsessive compulsive and mad about antiques. The apartment was covered, top to bottom, in decor that would be more aligned with that of an old woman that peaked in the 1960s. david-emami-takes-on-portland.html
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