David Emami was thrilled when he received a coupon in the mail for a free visit to the nearby newly opened gym. It had an indoor swimming pool, a sauna, state of the art equipment, and a smoothie bar. David looked down at his gut and thought that maybe it was time for him to pay the place a visit and perhaps, if he liked it enough, obtain a membership.
David arrived shortly after work, and the place was packed. He had to park on the street several blocks away. “Looks like I’m already starting my exercise,” said David optimistically. When he arrived, he showed his coupon, and immediately went to work on a treadmill. He played with the knobs and dials, and at last got the surface to start moving. “My goodness, this is just lovely,” he mentioned aloud. After working out for about 5 minutes, David began to sweat, and he decided it was time to move on.
“Hmm, maybe I’ll try that thing,” he said as he slipped into a leg machine. Weights were attached to tension cables that allowed the user to work their inner thighs by spreading their legs in and out. David got settled and began using it at the lowest possible weight. He spread his legs again and again in his short shorts, causing a few people to watch him curiously in the corners of their eyes. “Exercising is delightful!” exclaimed David as he finished his set in 30 seconds and moved on.
David felt a rumble in his stomach. “Time for a smoothie,” he said. He looked at the menu and decided to get a protein-rich peanut butter smoothie which was meant to help build muscle. David sat on a comfortable couch and slurped it up, wondering why anyone ever complained about going to the gym.
David felt full and lethargic, and figured that it must be the fact that he had just exercised so hard (and not because he had just consumed a 900 calorie smoothie), so he decided to leave. David of course signed up for the $99 a month gym membership on his way out, because he felt that the gym was his new favorite place to be.
David Emami is Alone in Portland is a collection of stories that peer into the life of a middle-aged curmudgeon with a fondness for cats and antiques.
Playfully illustrated with Bitmoji characters, his story comes to life as each day brings a new adventure.
He was obsessive compulsive and mad about antiques. The apartment was covered, top to bottom, in decor that would be more aligned with that of an old woman that peaked in the 1960s. david-emami-takes-on-portland.html
© 2017 DavidEmami.com