When Thanksgiving ends, Christmas time begins for David. The very next day, he grabbed all of his boxes which were neatly stacked in his closet and began opening them up excitedly as if it was his first time seeing them.
He lovingly pulled out antique glass ornaments, garland, and enough gold and silver tinsel to cover a forest. Each and every year, David Emami added a treasure to his Christmas display, and this year, it was a glowing ceramic tree that he had purchased from an antique fair for $200. For David, it was money well spent.
David placed the lights around the house and began flooding his apartment with lights and decorations. He shook the dust off of his fake tree and put it up, scaring his cats away in the process. Quickly, his apartment was becoming a winter wonderland while the Perry Como Christmas album played on his record player. It was absolute bliss for David.
Suddenly, David’s apartment door flew open unexpectedly, and a crazed woman with wild hair ran inside, darted across his living room, and found refuge hiding in the corner next to David’s television. David nearly had a heart attack and thought for sure he was about to be murdered.
“They’re after me! They’re coming to take me away! Please help me, sir!” She was probably in her 40s and looked ragged and weary. She cried and screamed uncontrollably.
“Who the heck are you? Why are you in my apartment?” Even the cats were hissing at her. David walked toward her and stared at her while she sobbed. “You can’t just barge into someone’s apartment like that! You nearly gave me a heart attack!”
“The FBI wants me dead! Don’t tell them I’m here! Please!”
“You’re crazy, lady! Now get out before I call the police!”
“No, please, no! They’re just going to take me back and do experiments on me! Like this!” She pulled her gums back to show her rotting teeth. “They put trackers in my teeth! They won’t leave me alone!”
Suddenly, 2 police officers ran into the apartment and one yelled, “She’s in here!” They ran up to her while she was screaming and kicking, and David just watched in horror. “Come on, Shirley! No one wants to hurt you!” She reached for David’s new ceramic Christmas tree and threw it, shattering it against the wall.
“Sorry, sir,” said the other officer as they yanked her out of the room. “Might want to keep that door locked in the future.”
And then the room was quiet, save for the cool sounds of Perry Como. David looked at his newly purchased antique, which was in pieces all over the floor. He angrily picked it up, feeling as if his perfect evening had been ruined.
David Emami is Alone in Portland is a collection of stories that peer into the life of a middle-aged curmudgeon with a fondness for cats and antiques.
Playfully illustrated with Bitmoji characters, his story comes to life as each day brings a new adventure.
He was obsessive compulsive and mad about antiques. The apartment was covered, top to bottom, in decor that would be more aligned with that of an old woman that peaked in the 1960s. david-emami-takes-on-portland.html
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